It's really hard for me to tell you this but Pocky passed away about 12 hours ago, at 1 pm Friday Oct 25th. I lost my balance in the colony cage and accidentally step on him who was behind me. He didn't die instantly. I thought he wouldn't. He could still fly and when I put him on my hand he had started panting. When I brought him inside my house, he had a fit then died.
I can't stop crying now. I feel so horrible and hate myself. I miss him so much I can't stop crying and calling his name. It's so hard to accept his death. I can still feel him everywhere. Everything in my house reminds me of him. I can't sleep on my bed because I usually snuggled with him there before we went to sleep. I can't believe he had to go away like this. I feel so guilty no matter what I try to think of, no matter what my husband said. I can't even cry as harder as I want because he will be mad.
I don't know if Pocky knew his time would be up soon. But this month he wanted to cuddle more with me. He usually asked to be picked up from the colony cage to my bedroom at 6pm, but this month even at 4.30 to 5 pm he had rattled the wire to be picked up. The last 2 days, he even didn't want to stay in the colony cage. He rattled the wire every hour, everytime he saw me from the cage window which is directly across my working room. I even had to put newspaper on my window so that he couldn't see me and now I really feel terrible because of it.
I miss him so much... no matter what positive thought I've said to myself I just feel I wanna die. I feel like a big failure... but if I die, who'll take care of my pets... I even didn't go to my father's wake because I found Pipi at the same day my dad died. I couldn't go because I had to feed Pipi and her siblings every 2 hours... but now I'm afraid she will die young too and I saved her for nothing. I don't know how I can face her death later.
Papao has laid an egg and for a moment I wanted to let it hatch if it's fertile. But I know it's not right... there's no way any chick can replace Pocky. He was special... I still have a lot of his pics I haven't shared, but I don't know when I'll be able to share them again. I need some time to mourn his death, and a lot more time to make peace with myself.
I wish I had someone irl that I can talk to but no one understands how much he meant to me here. I've never felt so alone... I miss having him inside my tshirt... I miss his specific cute voice that's different than the other lovebirds. I have recorded it this week because he actually has learned a new trick; bobbing head while singing a rhythm. I taught it to Papao but he was the one who caught it.
He was burried under the tree where I found Pipi's nest... my husband helped digging the ground. I still can't believe he's gone... It's like if I go to his cage I can still find him there. I miss him so much... All the other time a pet gone I've never been this sad... perhaps it was because I wasn't bonded too much with them. I miss Pocky... I must be a mess now... I know time will heal the pain and life will go on. I'll try to be strong... I just have to love what I have been left with, my other pets, before I lost my chance with them too. But it's really hard... I miss Pocky terribly.
I know he might be just a picture of a happy looking bird to you. But please pray for him tonight. I hope he's with an angel now, one that can cuddle him 24/7 forever without failure. Pray for me too if you don't mind... for I need any strength you could lend me to face tomorrow without him. Thank you for loving him... And please just say how much you love him (if u do) instead I'm sorry for your loss. It means so much that there are others that love him even though they have never met him. I just can't wait the day I'll meet him again to say how much I love him, how much I'm so sorry for what happened and hope he will forgive me for being such a failure.
I have birds myself, my little man Scruffy is my buddy for life, he's my friend, my companion. I know the bond is strong.
sorry ... i didn't read it before
don't blame yourself sweety
accidents do happen... its was not your fault,
you'd never wanted to hurt him, everybody knows that
it's really hard to lose someone you love that way
there's not much i can say to relive your pain
i can imagine your sadness
i'm crying myself about it
I am literally tearing up over here.
I know he'll be over the rainbow bridge. I'm sorry for your loss Emmil, its never easy loosing a loved one, human or other wise.
Till the day that you next meet him he will always be loved.
I have a friend who lost a ferret to something as random, so you are not alone..
You are a good pets mama, and you care for them highly, no doubt on this...
i hope you feel better soon
I am terribly sorry to hear about your loss and I wish you the best. He'll always be in my heart. From what I could see he had such a beautiful personality.
I'm having a really hard time not crying right now. I never met you or your birds but since I found your DeviantArt, I've always thought you all were amazing. I love seeing all your birds, they're so adorable and their personality shines through in each picture, its almost like I could have known them outside of the internet. It makes me want lovebirds too (and finches because PiPi is so cute XD)!
Losing a pet is hard, especially when you've really bonded with them. Its even harder if the people you know don't understand that a pet is more than a pet, they're family too. Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Lizards, no matter what they are they're family. The pets that I've been closest to are betta fish. Not many people can get past the "its just a fish" stage when they here me gushing about how adorable they are. When my little Neptune passed away, I couldn't stop blaming myself. He was sick and I couldn't get him better no matter how hard I tried. I blamed myself for him getting sick. I felt like a huge failure and the worst betta owner on the planet. But the thing is, we're not failures. We tried. We both loved our pets and gave them a good life, that is what matters and that is what makes us not fail them. You gave him a good life, and you give all your other pets a good life as well.
Mistakes and accidents happen. Pocky might have known his time was coming, I believe pets can sense things that we can't. I also believe that even though they pass away, they're still with us. I'm sure he forgives you and still loves you. In fact, I don't think he would blame you at all. I'm sure he knows it was an accident. You gave Pocky a great life and I know he misses you too. You'll see him again, but don't let that be too soon. You have a lot of other pets that still need and love you.
I'm praying for you and Pocky. Its hard, but you will get through this and you'll see him again someday. I know you don't know me, but if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here *hugs*
Fly in peace Pocky <3 You were loved by all.
- I love Pocky and i pray for the both of you I know he wasn't just a bird and this is why you are so hard on yourself. I know what you are going through because i was there, in the exact same situation with my dear Cocos. You be strong; Pocky wouldn't blame you for this; why are you? Remember the good times and celebrate his life and the happiness he brought into yours, don't let yourself forget that and don't taint his memory with bitterness. Pocky is watching over you now and he sure is sad for seeing you blaming yourself for something that was out of your control
My heart just dropped and it still feels like it... Pocpoc...
My eyes are getting watery. But I shall try my best.
First, it IS NOT YOUR FAULT! It really isn't... You didn't do anything freaking wrong at all, please tell yourself that and I am here to tell you that.
Pocky is still alive in our hearts and is flying in heaven! I love him as my own bird too... Pocky is still the happy birdie in heaven...
Who cares about me not being irl? I don't care at all, you are a friend and distance can't change that at ALL.
I'm praying, I love him too. I love him.
Just remember, it isn't your fault! It was a pure mistake, hun! I know! We all know how much of a happy life you gave him.. A SPECTACULAR life. is and will always be the happiest lovebird.
Oh my.. Fly in Peace Pocky, and I hope you cope with this well...
And about the egg, don't think about doing anything. Think of the egg as a reincarnation of Pocky, Em!
Stay strong as much as you can..Your other birds needs you.
Try not to think about all the whole thing,try to move on,it was an accident after all...
I will pray for you and Pocky <3
He could have fallen off a perch and the same thing could have occurred. My husband is so sorry also.
My heart really and truly breaks for you. I loved Pocky too. I wish I could say or do something more.
Just keep in mind that it wasn't your fault; it was all an accident. He will be waiting for you. It will be a long time to wait, but you will see him again. Not a lot of people could understand the love for a parrot if they've never experienced it. Tucker and I will grieve with you.
I'm so sorry . I only knew Pocky from photos and videos, but he found a way into my heart anyway. Its always hard to have a pet leave so soon. Three years ago my dog passed away. She was only four years old. She was so young, but I guess it was her time.
I know the pain of blaming yourself. I had a baby rabbit about two years ago that I was bottle feeding (mother had abandoned it). I had it in a box on a table and left the house to run errands. The rabbit was so young, I didn't think it would be able to get out, but it did and dropped to the floor. It acted normal, but died a few days later. I don't know for sure why it died, but I felt like it was all my fault..
long comment, sorry.
I know you won't stop blaming yourself no matter what I say... But just remember that, no matter how he got there, pocky is in a good place right now, he loves you, and he's waiting for you
I'm sorry for what happend.
Give yourself time to mourn him, but remember him as the joyful little bird he was!
I hope I could help you a bit with my words - or at least didn't make it worse.
He will always be with you, in your heart.
Because I really loved Pocky, hearing from him, seeing pictures of him and getting to know this wonderful bird. Thank you for introducing him to me.
You know that because I asked your advice for treatment that day... It was also my fault...
I understand the gaping bloody hole he left in your heart, its painful and you feel like a failure...
The worst part is, just like you, no one around here understands what joy bonding with a bird would bring...
Especially since she was my first and favorite bird.
If you want, you can share with me your thoughts and feelings... I get what you're going through right now...
Pocky's a special one of a kind bird! I don't think he blames you, he thanks you for the joyful experience you gave him.
I am so sorry. I wish I could say that I understand, but I honestly can't remember the last time I lost a pet. I will, however, offer my condolenses, and say that he will always be with you. The love you had for him lives on, and through that love, he is still with you
Sadly, I'm not religious, so a prayer from me wouldn't be sincere. However, I do believe that the energy we leave behind becomes something new, so I'll say this: I hope Pocky becomes something beautiful in his next life - he more than deserves that :3